VIU: Zombie Invasion Part I

11:29am

A group of us stand outside after class, loitering, discussing the readings, diligent students that we are. The smokers are smoking, and the non-smokers are not smoking. A bush rustles and out hops a bunny. “Awww,” we chorus. As many bunnies as there are on campus, each is individually adorable. This one, pure white, hops around chewing on dewy sprigs of grass. Its ears perk. “Awwwww.” It bounds to the side, and promptly becomes an explosion of fur and bloody effluvia.

“Zombie attack!” I cry. Burning cigarettes drop to ground as we all rush back into the building as a dozen zombies lumber out of the bushes. A lumber may not sound like much, but when the lumbering is done by a brain-hungry monster it’s suddenly a pretty threatening form of movement. Their blood-encrusted mouths gape, moaning, and their arms stretch, grasping at us. Toward our throats.

“To the lounge!” yells Riley. We have heard of these creatures, but infestation on campus is news to us. Zombies are something that we hear about on the news, but don’t actually show up in real life. And yet here they are. At the English building. Which has not been zombie-proofed. There is no point in barring the outer doors as zombies will beat their way through the glass. Instead, we head for the student lounge. No windows, one door. We can make our stand, bottleneck the living dead. Hold them off until—what? Rescue? No. That won’t be coming. We are on our own.

We push a tacky red couch into the doorway and stack a bookshelf on top creating a pathetic barrier. The doors open outwards and have no inner handles to bar (does no one keep zombies in mind when designing buildings?). Desiree and Gareth drag a box out from under a table, they shove a pile of Navigator back issues off of it and open the top to reveal our stockpile of weaponry. We are not completely unprepared. They pass around a couple of baseball bats, golf clubs, and tennis rackets. Blunt instruments appropriate for hit-and-run zombie bashing!

We hear scuffling and clamoring outside. Something’s coming. They’re coming. We grip our weapons tight, and wait.

***

Are you DYING to find out if we survive the VIU zombie invasion? Sate your thirst right now! Look for installment #2 from my fellow blogger, Nabil Boschman!