I, Kaitlyn Till, am an amazingly talented individual. I swear it, cross my heart and all that. You see, I have a Very Special Talent. I have this amazing ability to procrastinate! I have been honing this remarkable talent from a very young age, and feel that it has reached its glorious peak.
However, I am worried. I have an english paper due on Monday, and I have already chosen a topic, and have a commitment to have the draft completed by Saturday. Granted, I haven’t finished the readings, but somehow my reading may end up focused on the chosen topic. Egads! What? This is a travesty! My thorough procrastination skill development may possibly have been wasted!
I have come up with many fabulous procrastination aids over the years. One time that I had a paper due, I craftily decided to add cover art to all 4500+ songs in my itunes! Brilliant, right? Inventive? Definitely! And it’s incredibly useful because now I can flip through my ipod touch and see all the albums whizz across the screen, instead of the anonymous music note placeholder image that makes cover flow unexciting. My ipod is damn pretty, and that’s all thanks to procrastination.
If it weren’t for procrastination, I’d never vacuum or do other chores that only procrastination can inspire me to take on! Procrastination gets my laundry done. That can only be a good thing. Last semester I catalogued my entire book collection.
I have spoken to several other master procrastinators, and they have provided a wonderful list of further procrastination activities that you may like to try: walking the dog, riding the bus, YouTube, soak in the hot tub, sleep, reading ahead for other classes, reading every story in the anthology but the required one, sorting Facebook friends, reading fan fiction, baking five hundred cookies, drinking, taking a bunch of pictures and photoshopping them, making plans with friends, trying on clothes, reading in the bath, renovations, hiking, watching entire seasons of tv shows on DVD, knitting, catching up on procrastinated readings for other classes, taking extra shifts at work, sorting through stuff, and hatching plots to gain assignment extensions.
The thing is, I have to face the fact that there are so many fabulous things that can be accomplished by not procrastinating. Like having a paper copyedited, or taking it to the writing center or my prof for further suggestions. Even just having time to read it over before printing off the final copy! So I understand that there are upsides to being disciplined and ahead of the game and such, but then where’s the drama of last minute paper-production? It’s a truly organic, creative experience, dashing off that paper the night before it’s due, powering on, fueled by caffeine and adrenaline past three, four am, however long it takes to get the job done.
But then, I’m not sure I want to end up like famous procrastinator Douglas Adams, who once had to be shut up in a hotel room under the watch of his editor in order to finish a book. I wonder how many more books Douglas Adams could have produced in his (albeit, sadly short) lifetime if he hadn’t procrastinated.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to further contemplate when to start my essay. I may possibly attempt an outline.
On a completely unrelated note, when ordering from subway—no matter your spicy food tolerance—make sure that the hot peppers don’t get stacked up at the end of the sub. The result is unpleasant.
Til after the paper is done,
Kaitlyn
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First comment! \o/
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. :)
ReplyDeleteLast year I wrote two ten-page term papers on a Sunday night when they were both due on Monday. I didn't do too badly on them either!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I have the same talent as you do! Which reminds me of the old saying about procrastination...
ReplyDeleteI shall provide the link to spare you the immediate profanity. :P
http://thebluetwin.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/procrastination11.jpg
Anyways, I think I'm a hardcore procrastinator when it comes to papers of subjects I am confident in. I received an A+ and A on two papers that I finished typing within 2 to 3 hours each, and basically handed them in within ours of their due time. XD
I'm bad like that. Or good.
While it is not very healthy, I tend to do other projects through all-nighters. I can't quite explain why; but I do know that night-time is when I do my best, and my work seems to flow better under pressure.
I suppose it's not really something to brag about, but that's the way it is. Every semester I had the resolution to do it step by step, outline, draft, etc; in the end, I fail to keep that resolution and do everything just shortly before it's due.
And it works. For me. Though needless to say that after an all-nighter or two, I'm pooped. I almost fell asleep in class that one morning... There are definitely 20 minutes or so of class that I cannot recall whatsoever. XD
However, the versatility of all-nighters explained, you mustn't use them to study for tests. It's better to get up early and cram some more than to make it through the night. And yes, I say that from experience, and not just because the PSY textbook told me so.
But I digress. It's always fun to read your entries, keep'em coming :D
My favourite procrastination technique is to go grocery shopping. However, if I were to go to Quality Foods (which is right by my apartment), it would be too fast. So I drive all the way to Thrifty Foods by Woodgrove. Procrastination is the only reason I ever have groceries.
ReplyDeleteThat or I read Harry Potter.
In all honesty, I probably wouldn't get anything done if it weren't for procrastination. I need that stress to make me work.
I wish you so much luck on that paper. Hopefully, you (like me) can morph into "super writer" and spew out a perfectly edited paper in several hours.